REAL TALK

Stop Justifying Your Feelings

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iScriblr_justify

Ah, justifications! Too many, too little, who knows? Let’s be honest folks – We’ve all given justifications in our lifetime – sometimes necessary and required but most of the times, we go overboard with it, disproportionately, superfluously. Justification (in simple terms) means – explaining who you are, why you are who you are, why you believe what you believe, why you did what you did and why you said what you said. In short, it is clarifying and defining why and how you live! *shakes head in disappointment*

FACTS

We often feel the need to justify our feelings, like everyone outside is observing and forming judgments and the truth is they often are. Well, who wouldn’t? In all reality, it is one of “the easiest jobs in the world!” – To sit back, observe and reach a deduction, without even realizing how it would affect someone’s self-esteem and dignity. Sadly, as much as we hate to justify ourselves, we do not hesitate to formulate a judgement for others! And may be, may be (deep down inside) it’s often a reflection of how harshly we judge ourselves, that we are so quick to judge others. *bitter truth*

So, let me ask this again – Why are we providing lengthy explanations when it’s not necessary? Why is it so important to us to seek people’s approval? Why are we always scared of being assessed?
Think about it, if you’re constantly saying “sorry” and always feel the need to explain your words and actions, how do you think it is going to make you feel? Regretful? Disappointed? Down in the dumps?

Now, I do understand that you don’t want to go around not caring about other people’s thoughts and feelings, but if you don’t get the balance right you’ll only end up sabotaging your own self-esteem and worth!

Confession time – I have been guilty of justifying my actions all my life, not because I had to, but because I felt the need to. Eventually, what it did to me was –
1 I was subconsciously “deluded” by the fact that I was not as good as other people and it made me feel as if everyone else’s thoughts and feelings are more important than my own.
2 It stopped me from doing what I wanted to, for the fear of upsetting or offending anyone.

GOOD NEWS

Trust me when I say that it doesn’t have to be this way, but yes, something has to exorbitantly change. To get to a level of freedom to “stop caring about what other people think of you”, you need to stop explaining yourself, your actions, and your life.

“What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”
– Wayne W. Dyer

Here are three simple steps you can take today that will make all the difference –

1. START TRUSTING YOURSELF

It’s time to stop seeking for approval and permission to be who you are and live the way you want. You need to start trusting yourself and doing exactly what and how you feel and not how you think is expected of you. Trust your instincts and intuition because most of the times, they are almost always right.

2. STOP USING THE WORD “SORRY” UNLESS YOU REALLY NEED TO

Start saying “excuse-me” when you want to get by or need someone’s attention. I remember, I used to apologize for everything and anything, and while I thought that this showed that I cared and was well-behaved, I remember how crummy I felt afterwards – because, in all honesty, my “sorry” at that moment wasn’t required and because I shouldn’t have justified myself unnecessarily.
If you really need to apologize for something that you’ve done wrong, well, go ahead – Undoubtedly, you will feel better because you know you did the right “required” thing. And of course, the other person will be grateful for your gesture. But apologizing for no reason, especially for who you are, makes you feel lousy and you know it!

3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHOICES AND ACTIONS

It’s time to stop blaming others for the circumstances in your life and how you feel. Think of what is causing these feelings and situations you are in and attack problems one at a time. When you accept the responsibility of your life and learn to focus on the things which you can control, you will find it very easy to avoid making excuses when things go downhill. You have to shift from “victim-mode” to “creator-mode” and own it up. Don’t let your fears run the show pals! It is your life, make it worthwhile. Believing that YOU are in control and what matters is your undying faith in yourself and your actions – is the key to your happiness, contentment and success.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
– Lao Tzu

Life is what you make out of it. If you allow others to influence the way you feel about yourself and your life, you will constantly feel the need to seek their approval. My loves, it’s no secret that – improving our life starts with improving our mindset! So, let’s begin today and change our attitude towards life, it’s struggles and the way that we look at it. Be happy, love unconditionally, respect all, take chances, live your life and be thankful of YOURSELF! Our uniqueness makes us who we are and WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE SORRY ABOUT IT!

Here’s to a life that we can be proud of without saying SORRY! Cheers!

Love,

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75 Comments

  1. Peeking in my window again!
    At least you were soft exposing me.
    In reality, sums up a lot of folks. Whether they shall admit it or not. 🌻

    Reply

    1. We all have been guilty – for some its easy to get up and get going and for others to sulk!

      Thanks for stopping by!❤

      Reply

  4. Another wonderful insightful post. Very well written accurate and timely advice! It’s crazy how easy it is to fall into that trap without realizing you are doing it. Recognizing when you are doing it has got to be the hardest part of all. It does start with awareness. So thank you for putting this out there!! 💕💕

    Reply

  5. I can justify me demise…..so and so, I´m a realistic and I know what I know and know what I do no know, , apart from that…. I´m jusr siily, but I do have two neurons left. Try to rap your mind around that
    Holdit,
    Jesus , I´m high, should I say that outloud?
    catch you on…..

    Reply

    1. Ikr! Sometimes somethings are just meant to be said the way they are!🙋
      Thanks for stopping by sweetie!❤️

      Reply

  10. Hi Richa,

    I love this.The main question is “Are we work on ourselves”!? I vote for number 3.We can blame only ourselves for all failures and for success.

    Reply

  22. This is so perfectly articulated.
    At times, people get so caught up in trying to justify and prove themselves and one can end up getting very disoriented by this.

    This is such an insightful and inspirational piece 💕

    I need to get a pin up of that Lao Tzo and Wayne W. Dyre quote, that’s the kind of motivation I need to wake up to everyday.

    Reply

  27. It’s a brilliant one..
    You know ??..
    Just an hour ago, I have some thoughts related to the same topic, but with slightly different perspective and scene…..
    I named it “Highlighting”. I will explain it in my next posts and this post will really help me….
    Thank you so much for sharing..
    ❤❤❤😘😘👍

    Reply

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