Show Your True Colors

How often do we find ourselves doing things just because we have to and not because we want to? And yes, I am not talking about the hard work aimed to achieve success at jobs or the efforts to provide for your family. I’m referring to the things we do just to please others and to project a certain image of ourselves to the world that isn’t even coherent with who we really are! How often have we worn a “mask” awaiting approval of our family, friends, colleagues or even the auntie next door? And unquestionably, it is hard to live your best lives, when “best” is defined by someone else!

“There just isn’t any pleasing some people. The trick is to stop trying.”
– Robert Mitchum

FACTS

One of the major factors provoking “people-please-syndrome” is “LONELINESS”, resulting in obvious living of your life as per people and their expectations.
According to statistics from a 2014 Psychology Today article, experts estimated at that time, that 40 percent of people would be affected by loneliness at some point in their life. More recently, Dokuz Eylul University’s system analyst Ali Sumer noted in 2016 that this estimate had increased and that 1 in 5 Americans suffers from continuous loneliness. Dismally, more and more people, in everyday communities, are feeling the effects of loneliness, which can go beyond simply feeling isolated and sad.

Well, it happens to everyone (reasons ranging from peer pressure, job raise to partner/spouse influence) and it is something that we have to break out of, consciously. There have been times (in the past), when just to “fit in” or be “in the vogue” I have done things that I am not proud of today. I’d been so obsessed with creating a mask befitting people, that I could no longer recognize myself in the mirror. (Sad but true!) Determined to break free of this “self-destructive” behavior and to create my own “niche”, it was time for me to pause and reflect.

GOOD NEWS

Reflecting upon your actions, understanding the nature of your behavior and looking inside oneself to know what you really want, accepting the challenges of life “head on” – are a few ways to break free from this viscous cycle of “pleasing people and getting hurt in return!” Listening to our own inner voice more than listening to what others have to say and believing in your “self-worth” without seeking people’s approval is the key to “being comfortable in your own skin!”

These simple, actionable (tried and tested) tips are for you to help you show your true colors –

1. CALM YOUR INNER CRITIC

It’s time that you finally stopped beating yourself up over everything you say or do. Try countering your negative thoughts with positive ones. Believe in yourself! By working on replacing negative self-talk with more positive self-talk, you’re more likely to feel in control of stuff that’s going on in your life and to achieve your goals. Love yourself enough to stand up for it. You need to celebrate yourself (and often!) because you need to stop being your own worst critic and start being your biggest fan.

2. FACE YOUR FEARS

Think about what really scares you. Think about what restrains you from unleashing your true self. Is it the possibility of creating collision between you and your friends? Is it the forecast of being different? Or are you just scared to be rejected? Exploring your answers to all these questions will start you on a beautiful journey of self-discovery and open up different sides to your character that you may not even be aware of!

3. IT IS OK TO BE DIFFERENT

Cherish your uniqueness! We don’t all need to fit into the same mould. You have your own set of characteristics, skills, dreams and goals that makes you different from anyone else. Embrace them and don’t be embarrassed by who you are. It is about believing in your own self and remembering that you are capable and worthy – just as much as anyone else, regardless of what you’ve achieved, regardless of what mistakes you’ve made! There will be haters, there will be disapprovers, NONE of that matters! Be YOU!

4 STRENGTHEN YOUR CORE VALUES

Core values are the principles that define us, and we should never compromise them just to please other people. Strong core values help us make choices that are right for us and they show us the path to peace in the midst of chaos. But it can be tough to hold on to our values when faced with outside influences, such as the people around us and the media. Be authentic! As long as we do not lose the sight of who we truly are and stick to our basics and values, we will be able to focus on the positives and be conscious of what actually holds importance to us. (Eventually, leading to HAPPIER US!)

5. CELEBRATE YOUR TRUE SELF

You self-worth is in your hands! Believing that YOU are in control and what matters is your undying faith in yourself and your actions – is the key to your happiness and contentment. This means that your happiness is independent of what another person thinks. When you make the decision to not let other people have the power to say who you are or who you should become, you open the door to be able to do things according to your own beliefs and principles. Someones’s perception of you does not define you!

Life has insightful lessons to teach – learn them your way, at your own pace. Embrace your individuality. Your job isn’t to be understood or to impress others. It’s to be at peace with God and treat others as yourself, regardless of what they think of you. Let your unique light shine out from within and DARE TO BE DIFFERENT! It’s time that the World sees your “true colors” – the colors of self-love, self-confidence, self-esteem and inner strength. Walk your own path and don’t compromise your beliefs for anyone. Take the first step and never turn back!

It’s never too late to live a free life – one that’s finally about YOU!

Love,