Desperate Housewife (Not!)

“It’s sad if people think that’s (homemaking) a dull existence, [but] you can’t just buy an apartment and furnish it and walk away. It’s the flowers you choose, the music you play, the smile you have waiting. I want it to be gay and cheerful, a haven in this troubled world. I don’t want my husband and children to come home and find a rattled woman. Our era is already rattled enough, isn’t it?” 
― Audrey Hepburn

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With academics and experience like – Bachelor of Science, Masters (Honors) in Zoology, Bachelor in Education (with teaching skills in Science and English), Masters in English, 10 years of experience in American Express (as a Security Administrator) and 2 years of experience (as a recruitment coach) at NIIT Limited – choosing to be a “home maker” wasn’t an easy choice.

Marriage, change in geographies, moving to USA, cultural differences, maintaining a work-life balance and the thought of a “hot-meal” everyday, every-time – all acted as catalysts to the decision (and agreement) – of my husband being the “bread-winner” and me being the “bread maker” for the family. (FYI – That’s just not all that a home maker does though!) It was decided and agreed upon that we could get by on his salary efficiently and my time was better spent adding value and love to our home. (One of the  best decisions of my life!) 

Being a wife to my husband, taking care of his needs (while he takes care of mine), spending quality time with each other and the freedom to hone my culinary and writing skills – were a few other added merits that came along with the change in my status from “a career-oriented professional” to “a homemaker!” Also, knowing (thanks to my supportive husband) that I always have an option  and the freedom of going back to the “cubicle” is calming enough to work my best at my “current role!”

My typical day starts at 6:30 in the morning. Involves cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, indulging in home improvement DIY projects, working on my blog, working out and making sure that when me and husband sit together for our next meal – the meal is as commendable and warm as the efforts put in making it! We talk, we laugh and we surely try to make the best of each others presence and time. It’s a win-win situation where I am able to spend my time, powers and strength towards making a family that is bursting with appreciation and admiration towards each other’s business and responsibilities.

Unfortunately, choosing to stay at home can feel solitary and it takes time to find a new normal! A few considerations that worked great for me are –

1. Building A Support System – It is vital to maintain friendships and relationships and be involved actively in “building bridges”. Family and friends are important support system to ensure perfect social harmony. Chit-chat, whatsApp, Facetime – whatever works!

2. Maintaining A Schedule – Approaching your “home-making” as a job and scheduling chores is an effective way of getting everything done on your to-do list. It can be both baffling and laborious to get all the work done on time. Hence, plan and make an agenda on daily basis to be a “pro” at it in no time.

3. Fostering Your Passion – Setting aside time for yourself everyday – even if it is just for 15 minutes, to do something fulfilling, that has nothing to do with your house making activities, goes a long way to keep your mind of the stress that home making has to offer. Pick up a hobby, write, read, listen to music, go out for a walk, socialize!

Being a “homemaker” is not just “Netflix and chill!” It involves time, patience, forbearance, time management, efforts and determination. Understandably, I am not making money but undoubtedly, I am contributing to something way bigger than just me by making a difference in the lives (or life) of those who matter to me the most! It’s a matter of personal preference and is a family decision that is not gender-determined either. This is the role I have chosen and this is the job I like to do!

Without a doubt, being a housewife in this century is a 24*7 profession in itself, involving craftsmanship and labor of love. It’s a choice that deserves more than just a little respect and dignity. Yet, for me, it is a pleasure to be at home and I couldn’t be happier!

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I may or may not go back to an office job, I may volunteer or work part-time, I may teach – but that is all just too futuristic and ahead of its time for now. Until that happens, in the interim, I will try to deliver myself to the best of my capabilities and powers to craft and design a house that is adequate, prizing and warm! Appreciating what I have for now and stepping out of my comfort zone seems like a justified family decision.

To all the “housewives” – who gracefully achieve and accomplish objectives! Hail homemakers! 

Love,
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(Disclaimer : This post in no way condemns the “hard-working” career woman or the efforts they put into balancing a healthy life and family. Your work and efforts are truly appreciated and acknowledged!)

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